Today is a holiday here in the States. So, it seemed the perfect time to share something on the lighter side and (I desperately hope) funny.
Let's be honest. Internal audit communications can be a little … what's the word I'm looking for? Mundane? Stodgy? Prosaic? Pedestrian? NO, wait! I've got it! Boring!! Yes, our communications can be quite boring. What we need is a way to spice things up
Earlier this year, there was an internet meme called "And then the murders began" based on the idea that any novel or story could be improved by changing the second sentence to, "And then the murders began."
Here's just a few examples:
1984 by George Orwell: "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. And then the murders began."
Ulysses by James Joyce: "Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. And then the murders began."
The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway: "He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish. And then the murders began."
You get the idea.
So, I would like to suggest that internal audit, in order to add a little zest, excitement, and intrigue into our workaday lives, begin adding the phrase "And then the murders began" to our various communications. Following are just a few ideas.
An overall opinion regarding controls:
It was our opinion that controls in this area were ineffective. And then the murders began.
In the scope statement of the report:
We tested 100 percent of accounts payable transactions that were processed from 6/1/17 to 6/1/18. And then the murders began.
In meeting notes:
We met with the human resources manager, as well as her support staff, to discuss the potential issues we had identified. And then the murders began.
As part of a review note:
I reviewed your audit report and found numerous grammatical errors. And then the murders began.
During performance reviews:
You met or exceeded your goals in all areas. And then the murders began.
In a resume:
I obtained the CIA designation in 2014. And then the murders began.
Sawyer's The Practice of Modern Internal Auditing – 1973 edition:
Modern internal auditing has been dealt with extensively, particularly since it started being called management or operational auditing. And then the murders began.
The forward to COSO's update on the Internal Control Framework:
In 1992 the Committee of Sponsoring Organization of the Treadway Commission (COSO) released its Internal Control–Integrated Framework. And then the murders began.
Discussing the history of The Institute of Internal Auditors:
In 1955, "Progress Through Sharing" was adopted as The IIA's official motto. And then the murders began.
As part of a speaker's bio:
Mike Jacka worked in the Farmers Insurance Internal Audit department for 30 years. And then the murders began.
And, perhaps its most obvious use:
He walked into the department and said "I'm from internal audit; I'm here to help you." And then the murders began.
That's a few I've come up with. Feel free to share any ways you see where "And then the murders began" might spice up the world of internal audit.