As was announced last week, Auditorman will be returning! The excitement has been palpable and social media has gone crazy with #Auditorman, #AMisback, and #auditissexyagain trending through the roof. That excitement was heightened by the announcement that long-time sidekick COSO Boy, with a potential for his own franchise, will be moving on to greener, cubier pastures. That means new opportunities for up-and-coming sidekicks, and the resumes have been coming in thicker than excuses at a wrap-up meeting. (Face it, what could be more prestigious than standing side-by-side with Auditorman as he vanquishes controlless adversaries?)
The interviews have been exhaustive and the candidates have endured significant testwork. The result is a sample of the best and brightest sidekicks available. And this is where you, the fans, get to have a say in Auditorman's future. Following is a list of potential replacements for COSO Boy. Objectively assess their attributes, critically evaluate the root cause of their issues, and then provide your sufficient, reliable, relevant, and useful information to help us formulate the final opinion. Which sidekick will be declared effective? Which will be relegated to the pit of constant rewrites? That is for you to decide.
An obvious successor to COSO Boy, he has many of the same strengths while bringing a broader perspective to the battle. And, while not a major consideration, COSO Boy's old outfits could be used with only a few minor alterations. However, there are two major drawbacks. The first is that he may be too similar to COSO Boy for anyone to really notice the difference. Second, with more updates coming, should Auditorman wait for the latest and greatest version?
The Independent and Objective Twins
Some may argue that Auditorman is just too much hero for only one sidekick. And so we introduce the Independent and Objective Twins. Hand in hand they provide assurance that Auditorman will approach all engagements with an unbiased mindset free from conflicts of interest. There are, however, drawbacks. First, with the strong influence of the Independent and Objective Twins, might Auditorman become so unbiased he cannot quickly tell the wrongdoers from honest citizens? The image of an audit crimefighter unable to make a timely decision is not a pretty one. Second, two sidekicks means twice as many mouths to feed. Auditorman may be a famous hero, but he is not rich. (After all, he is an internal auditor.)
The Charter Kid
Where could Auditorman find any greater foundation than in the audit charter? With this in mind, The Charter Kid could be the backbone of a new crimefighting duo. However, with great strength comes great temptation. So it is with The Charter Kid as it appears that, no matter what challenge is faced, he has a tendency to fall back on the charter as the answer to everything. (There is nothing more pathetic than the plaintive, whining cry of "But the charter says we can go in there.")
This sidekick offers a great opportunity for Auditorman to take a significant step into the 21st Century. CAAT Lad appears to have everything – technology, in-depth analysis, enough data to choke any potential evil doer. However, there is a significant drawback with the fur balls.
Maybe a female sidekick is the answer. Standing by Auditorman's side for every battle, call to action, speech, discussion, and written report, it will be her job to ensure that Auditorman is never embarrassed by incorrect word use, flawed punctuation, or improper grammar tense. She will verify that syntax is perfect, spelling is mistake-free, style is unparalleled, and every report, every speech, and every utterance is the model of perfection. There is but one drawback; issuance of final utterances will usually be delayed by as much as two weeks.
Well, there they are – an unbelievable list of fraud busting, control identifying, risk mitigating sidekicks. Weigh the options, tick and tie the final results, make sure there are two levels of review over your work, and tell us who will be Auditorman's next sidekick.
But wait, there's more. A rebooted Auditorman needs rebooted villains. In out next update, we will give you a preview of the supervillains Auditorman will be facing.
And one more thing before we go – break out those secret decoder rings because here is today's secret message. 1-21-4-9-20-15-18-19 1-18-5 3-15-15-12! 18-5-1-12-12-25!!