(I think I’ve done this before, but it bears repeating.)
For me, there are a few intolerables
when it comes to grammar: it is not a “mute” point, “irregardless” is
not a word, there are three different spellings of the words pronounced
“they’re” and each has its own specific meaning (what do you say to
console a grammarian? “Their, there, they’re.”), “its” is not “it’s”,
and the effect of “effect” is affected if you don’t get the right
“effect.” (Okay, that last one may be wrong – I can never get it right.)
But there is one phrase that, while
grammatically correct, makes me want to run screaming to my desk drawer,
break into the old supplies, and use white-out on the computer screen.
Last week, I was at the Contemporary
Resort at Disneyland. Next to the escalator on the fourth floor was a
sign with the following phrase. “Please utilize the escalators to
access…”
Utilize?! Really?!! Any reason I can’t
just “use” the escalators? Does it take something special to be able to
“utilize” the escalators? Was the sign painter being paid by the
syllable? Is there someone that you are trying to impress with the
fancy, three-syllable word? If I utilize the escalator is it
escautilizatory ambulation? Why, for Walt’s sake, can’t you just say
what you mean?
The word “utilize” may be the most
overused word today. Why is it everyone insists on using “utilize” when
“use” is perfectly respectable? In fact, there is NO situation where the
word “utilize” cannot be replaced with “use.”
But, beyond my personal irritation with
this situation, there is a practical application for auditors. The next
time you are complaining about your audit reports – next time you are
decrying the length of those reports – take a close look for the
“utilizes.” That is, look for the extraneous words and phrases that are
providing no value – that are included just to impress or sound
“professional.”
Actually, start with “utilize.” Then
look for the other big words that can be replaced with simpler
ones. Then look for the big sentences that can replaced with simpler
ones. Then look for the big paragraphs that can be replaced with simpler
ones. Then look for the big reports that can be replaced with simpler
ones.
Cull the “utilizes” from each report
until it says exactly what you want to say, and quit trying to impress
with the words you are using. Instead, impress with the actual content.
And utilize your words more efficiently.
