​​A Quick Note About a Hit Song F​rom 2001

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Anyone out there remember the song by Cake "Short Skirt/Long Jacket"? Listening to Pandora earlier this week, it came up on my shuffle. (If the preceding sentence didn't make sense, it may be time to brush up on your social media knowledge.) One line caught my attention:  "I want a girl...who uses a machete to cut through red tape."

First thought: Great line. Second thought: Not a bad skill to have. Third thought: Every manager could use that skill. Fourth thought: Every auditor could use that skill.  Fifth thought: That is a basic skill I want every auditor/manager/etc. to have. Sixth thought: What else does this song have to say about audit skills?

So, I went back to the lyrics and found an interesting host of traits. Many of them represented a darn good set of auditor traits. And almost every one of them, if you really stretch your imagination and parallel-drawing abilities, are traits top-notch audit professionals should exhibit.

Below, I present the words to "Short Skirt/Long Jacket". Take a look and stretch your mind and see what you think. And feel free to share the important audit skills you see.

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes

 I want a girl with the right allocations

Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnng jacket......

 I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

She is fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnng.... lonnng jacket​

I want a girl with a smooth liquidation
I want a girl with good dividends
At Citibank we will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen

 She wants a car with a cupholder arm rest

She wants a car that will get her there
She's changing her name from Kitty to Karen
She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler La Baron

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnggggggggg jacket

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